Learning curve; your brain's first time back on the bike

Brains and arms

The mental aspect of doing anything with one arm, when all you have is one arm, is the easy part.  If you dont fight it.  Shake that part loose, and then you can focus on the task in its purely mechanical form - how do I hang onto this while I do that?  It takes the bulk of the frustration out of any task.  Tasks are still frustrating until you’ve developed a system, and/or practised it enough times.

When you have two arms and you’re trying to perform a task (that requires two arms) with one arm, there’s an internal friction.  It takes effort to truly commit to completing the task and overcoming the friction your brain is creating.

I think this is why people (with two arms) see some of what I do as either “awesome” or “dangerous” - it's typical at the extremes of the spectrum.  He shouldn’t be doing that, or, how cool is it that he’s doing that?

Prior to my accident, in my brief career with the military, my section mates and I would practise tasks using one hand… and blindfolded, etc.  I remember that struggle, with my brain fighting to use both hands to reassemble my rifle.  It was a bit of a head start for how my life changed, in a lot of ways, not just performing tasks when your arm is missing.

Brains, arms and bikes

I remember the first time I rode a motorcycle after losing the arm - off-road, dirt bike, no prosthetic, bike unmodified - and my only struggle or fear was stability under brakes.  Which turned out not to be an issue; controlling the bike didn't feel like it required any extra effort.  Clutchless downshifting was seemingly instinctual, no extra thought required.  Prior to my accident, I had never done a clutchless downshift, and had you suggested such a thing to me back then, I’d have thought the idea was ridiculous.

My first ride on a modified bike, with the clutch now on the right-hand side, was without practice.  No, sitting there trying to get my hand and brain to operate the throttle and clutch simultaneously.  No extra mental effort required.  There was a struggle to operate the controls (lights, indicators, etc), but nothing that practice and time on the bike didn't solve.  Regardless of how well you’ve set the bike up, you still need seat time to get everything, including you, to work well and naturally.

Trauma

I recall that for the first year or so after getting my motorcycle license, when I was getting ready to ride and putting on my boots, I’d get these terribly vivid mental images of crashing.  This would be accompanied by a very real feeling, akin to a light concussion.  Pressure in the back of my head, a little dizzy maybe. It was pretty overwhelming, but nothing I couldn't push through.  I remember doing a LOT of riding back then, and every ride I’d push through all of that.  It doesnt happen much at all anymore, but the days when it does and it's bad, I see it as a “gut feeling”, and I dont ride that day.  That might be the trick to overcoming any feelings like this - identifying what really feels like a true gut feeling and what might just be an echo from something earlier, prior to your ride.  I definitely take time to process these pre-ride feelings now.

Expectations

My expectations of my riding ability and behaviour are pretty steady, with some fluctuations because I’m human. My riding ability is good, and my skills on the motorcycle are now well developed.  If anything, I’m all about taking the edge off some bad/lazy habits.  So my expectation of myself while on the bike is for gradual improvement, however slight; just recognise bad habits, call them out to myself, and adjust slowly.

There are people who expect me to make a mess of it again, riding motorcycles. The “I told you so” crowd is waiting for me to go tits up again on the bike.  There are those who may have seen me do something silly once and now assume that's how I ride everywhere I go.  These same people have typically had more speeding tickets than I have since being back on the bike.  That, or they’re non-riders who don't understand the depth of my passion for motorcycles and motorcycling.  Easy to ignore while I’m focused on myself and what I can control.

Eyes forward

Maybe the one thing learning to ride again with one arm has taught me is the same golden rule of riding a motorcycle: look where you want to go.  If you simply maintain a focus on improvement, not get caught up in the what-ifs or what others think of you riding again, the small stumbles and errors that invariably occur are easy to overcome.  And, if you pace yourself right, those stumbles and erors dont end badly.  It's not a smooth or linear progression; some days it's heavier, and others it's smooth.  Just keep looking where you want yourself and the bike to go.

How do you ride a motorcycle with one arm?

I dont know.  I know how I ride bikes with one arm, but I’ve seen a bunch of guys do things very differently and much better than me - guys like Chris Ganley come to mind, and many more riding around out there with missing arms.  I see there's a younger guy with a complete shoulder disarticulation riding a bike really well.  It's good to see.  It means there's a wealth of knowledge in experience ready to be tapped into by riders in the same situation.  When I kicked off on my own journey to ride bikes with one arm, I didn't have access to any of this, the riders and the communities online.

From what I can see, a lot of arm amputee riders dont ride with a prosthetic, which is one way around the problem.  When I was first starting to ride bikes again, just dirt bikes, I didn't use a prosthetic either, nor did I modify the bikes in any way.  I’d just push off to get some speed up and bump it into gear.  To stop, I’d just find neutral before coming to a complete stop.  I recall my first ride on the road without a prosthetic, very soon after my accident, and I didn't use a prosthetic then either - same technique - big push to get rolling, bump into gear and off I went - on an old XJ-650 of all things, so that “big push” took some big effort considering the state of my left leg that early in my recovery.

When I finally got the green light to ride bikes again, I just assumed I would need a prosthetic and went off and designed it.  I had an idea of what I wanted/needed to ride again based on my riding experience to date, which was mostly riding bikes with two arms.  I didn't quite factor in the extent of my injuries and the limitations they presented.  Hence, my arm has a range of movement I can't fully utilise.  I didn't understand these limits until after I built the first arm and started riding properly.  Properly on the road and in traffic and exposed to more situations, environments and weather than what I’d had trundling around in a cul-de-sac at home.

In those early days, as my body was exposed to more time on the bike, muscles not used for nearly two decades having to fire and perform, left me with wild headaches and quite often, after every ride, in a fair amount of pain.  The socket and my residual limb learning to live together on long rides was also a struggle for a while.  I’m glad I managed to push through on days when I questioned whether I needed to ride again.

I do still ride my bikes without the prosthetic, but only in my yard at home.  I believe the safest way to ride my bikes is with the prosthetic.  I’m not riding in a controlled environment; I’m riding on the road, with traffic.  Those quick responses required of me for sudden changes NEED stability, confidence and good control of the bike.  It's also a legal requirement of mine to ride my bikes WITH the prosthetic, and I’m okay with that.  Full transparency, I CANNOT ride the TRX without the prosthetic - that riding position, with one arm, is bonkers when riding around my yard at home.  I’ve never tried to ride the TRX without the prosthetic anywhere else, but I’m happy with the science so far.

Explaining how I ride, using my arm, using words might be a little difficult, but I’ll give it a crack.

I connect the arm to the bike before getting on the bike - fit the “hand” over the handlebar, give the hand a slight push to the left, and then fit the quick-release clip.  Then I throw a leg over the bike.  Pretty simple.  Typically, I’ll give the arm a quick test, pushing it through its full range of movement before taking off.  This lets me know if something isn't quite right with any of the actions I expect the arm to perform when I’m out.

The quick release is a clip with a tether connected to a belt loop of my jeans.  Nothing fancy. In my first version of the arm, I had the tether attached to the glove of my right hand - not a good spot, I found.  Too much potential for accidental release.  Side note: I had ridden my bike ONCE without the quick-release tether.  The hand on my arm is loose on the bars without the quick release.  So, THAT was a spooky and very slow ride home.  I carry a spare quick release on the bike now.

Riding the bike is mostly a natural feeling, but unnatural in the sense that you’re not using your entire arm.  Under brakes, I’m pushing my left arm forward, like you would when you raise your arm up from alongside your body.  This action keeps the arm in the right place, preventing it from folding up when it shouldn't.

Into turns, I’m pushing down from my shoulder, and this is difficult to describe, but there's an initial “quick push” down (or maybe push down + slight pull back?), and then you transition into the turn; the arm begins to move at the elbow as you shift your body around on the bike and into the corner.  With the compression/rebound set right, it's not as clunky as it sounds.  The arm returns to straight smoothly enough by itself or with the same “push forward” action; it’ll come back quicker.

This is the best I can do to describe what I’m doing to “use” the arm while riding my bike.  I haven't had any issues, no contact between the arm and the tank while riding, though I feel I may have two different riding postures: one for left turns and another for right turns.  Left turns, I’m not leaning on the prosthetic as much as I could, as often as I should, maybe.  Right turns, pretty normal, more bend at the elbow.  Images below for reference.

Clutches and braking.  The clutch lever is positioned under the front brake lever.  Only ONCE have I gone for clutch and instead gotten a handful of brakes.  Terifying enough of a mistake that you only make it once.  I did this AT SPEED on the SWM on some crazy twisty back road, and that bike has some heckin good front brakes with no ABS.  I usually brake with one or two fingers (index and middle finger) and clutch with the last two.  The space between the clutch and brake levers is super critical - you want your fingers in there, with gloves on, without any restriction.  Also, super important are the right gloves - I think, normal rider - the top of the gloves isn't an issue.  Whereas I’m trying to feed my fingers down between two moving parts (essentially), gloves with a lot going on on top of the glove don't work for me. on. I have seen a rider running his clutch lever above the brake lever, but that was on a track bike, or just personal preference.  I’m too deep into natural habits now; I couldn't run things any differently without hurting myself.

Taking off on bikes when you’re using one hand to do two jobs is pretty easy; I use my index and middle fingers to operate the clutch, and the remaining fingers work the throttle.  And, yes, I know that means I can't do burnouts unless I nose the bike against a wall.  Which is fine because I’m a dad to a teenage daughter, and I can't afford a steady supply of tyres.

The transition from coming to a stop and then taking off again - like at a set of traffic lights - is index- and middle-finger braking, with the remaining two fingers working the clutch.  That last second or two before the bike comes to a complete stop, I’ll move all four fingers to the clutch, relying on the brake to bring it to a stop.  Then, for takeoff, I’ll release the clutch enough so as to keep my index and middle finger on the clutch lever, then slip my other two fingers behind the clutch lever so I can use those fingers to work the throttle.  It all happens and feels much smoother than I’ve made it sound with words on a screen.

Wheelies - can I do them? Only on accident, and it's always the bike and not me, officer.  Seriously, I haven't tried to wheelie the bike outside of accelerating abruptly and savagely, knowing that's what the bike will do.  I’ve not done what the cool kids do and just lift the front wheel like it's nobody's business.  I’m just not that cool, and I’m not interested in the consequences of getting it wrong.

Switching bikes is something of a readjustment - both for my brain and my arm.  Today, I dusted off the TX and took it for a quick ride, and it was awkward as all heck.  First up, I’d just gotten off the Zed, and my brain needs five business days' warning before switching bikes.  Second, I do make a small adjustment to the arm between the TRX and the Zed - the roll position of the wrist is slightly different between the two bikes.  I have the two positions marked on the arm, and it's only about 5 degrees of rotation, but the effects are night and day.  That TRX is a great old bike, though, a short ride to blow the cobwebs out brought a big smile to my face.

The TRX is old-school; you have to rev-match your downshifts, so let me walk you through it.  Under brakes, my index and middle fingers are working the brakes, and my remaining fingers are working the throttle - we’re doing rev-match downshifts without the clutch!  I’m yet to blow up a gearbox or bend a shiftfork, and the only issue I have is an easy one to fix because it's my technique - I “tap” my gear lever, not “push” my gear lever on downshifts.  So, mostly on the Zed, second into first, can see me hitting neutral.  I think, from memory, the SWM would give me a surprise neutral between 4th and 3rd downsifts - again, I’m “tapping”, not “pushing”, the gear lever.  I’m working on this; it's a me thing, not a bike thing.

Controls like indicators, etc., are just extras, and that's where it's my thumbs time to shine.  It's probably the busiest digit on a normal ride. I have these crazy ideas of outsourcing some of my thumbs' work to another part of my body (not that part) or to the prosthetic, but I’d just be adding complexity to a system that doesn't really need it.

There’s probably a video that needs to be made to add visuals to all of this, but that’sabout it for how I ride my bike with one arm + one pretend arm.