I’m trying to remember a quote I heard recently, but it's gone. Wisdom is earned, not given - is the best my memory could click with after a Google search. Essentially, we all know, you can offer someone advice, warnings, crash stories, statistics — but if they’re not ready to hear it, it won’t land. I know that because the rider I used to be wouldn’t have listened either. Not out of disrespect. I just thought I already knew enough. I thought I was skilled enough. I thought consequences were for other people.
And that’s the thing — a lot of riders react badly when someone suggests slowing down or riding more safely. You see it in the comments online: the jokes, the bravado, the dismissals. It’s a defence mechanism. It’s easier to laugh than to look at your own behaviour. It’s easier to protect the identity you’ve built around riding than to admit you might be taking risks you don’t need to take.
I’m not under any illusion that sharing my story will change every rider. I know it won’t. Some riders will read what I write and shrug. Some will roll their eyes. Some will think it doesn’t apply to them. And that’s fine. I get it. I used to be wired the same way.
What I am hoping for is something a bit different.
If my perspective doesn’t reach you, that’s okay — just don’t stand in the way of the riders it does reach. Let them take what they need from it. Let them grow at their own pace. The same way we tell new riders to “ride their own ride,” I think we also need to let riders change their own ride. If someone wants to slow down, ride smoother, or rethink their approach, let them. Don’t drag them back into the mindset you’re in. Don’t mock them for choosing a safer line. And, dont leave them behind.
Not every rider wants to be the hot‑headed, warp‑speed version of themselves forever. Some of us grow out of it. Some of us don’t. That’s just how it goes.
And if you’ve been riding a long time, you’ve got more influence than you realise. You can lead by example. You can show that skill and safety aren’t opposites. You can show that enjoying the ride doesn’t require proving anything to anyone. You can help create space for new riders to find their own identity on the bike — not the one the loudest voices in the community push onto them.
Side track
One thing that grinds my gears is how often the slower or newer rider gets left behind. A group will take off at the pace of the fastest rider, and the person still finding their feet ends up riding alone or, worse, pushed to ride outside their limits just to keep up. That’s not leadership or cool. If you’re the hotshot in the group, you need to appreciate the responsibility you have - there are other riders watching you, possibly trying to emulate your behaviour with less skills and less experience. That, or the rider you left behind rides less, gives up on bikes. Even worse, they DO try to keep up, and they could end up being an entirely different kind of problem for you. If we can’t look after the ones coming up behind us, what are we even doing?
Insert my usual disclaimer - I’m not trying to preach. I’m not trying to tell anyone how to ride. I’m just sharing what I’ve learned, knowing full well it won’t land with everyone. But if it helps even a few riders shape their own path — or gives them permission to ride a little more chill — then it’s worth writing.
